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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Another funny story mory....

السلام عليكم

Jgn tension2, relaks kan minda anda sejenak dgn lawak2 dibawah.. :)

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".


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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone
Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".


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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
travelling in Australia?"

Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"


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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?"


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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'
fell off".


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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland
".


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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
on".


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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".


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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"


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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my
file back again?".


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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
I know why they record these conversations! ):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.

" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
Bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!! !






Kung Fu Hustle

السلام عليكم

Jom Layan Pics..











Kenapa selalu pelajar melayu perempuan dirasuk... bukan bangsa lain?

السلام عليكم

BACA JANGAN TAK BACA SAMPAI ABIS...

Kisah benar... buat ikhtibar..

Kes ini berlaku betul diruang pelajar perempuan membasuh kain.Berlaku diasrama puteri. Kebanyakan yang terkena rasukan adlah gadis melayu dan tidak pernah ada kes berlaku pada pelajar kaum cina dan india. Di mana salahnya........Kita ikuti percakapan antara bomoh melayu dan syaitan.

kes histeria disekolah kat BSB......
Misteri di Asrama Puteri terjawap!

Suatu hari, ada seorang ketua bomoh yang begitu berani hendak
berjumpa dengan sekumpulan jin yang berlegar2 di asrama hinggakan mereka
merasuk sebilangan pelajar di sekolah itu.

Ketika sampai di sebuah bilik, ketua bomoh pun membaca sejenis mantera.
Selepas membaca mantera, ketua bomoh pun memanggil ketua jin itu.
Lalu ketua jin itu pun datang.

Dengan menunjukkan wajah rupanya yang begitu hodoh dan jijik.
Hinggakan ketua bomoh yang begitu berpengalaman itu pun hampir2 pengsan
dibuatnya! Hinggakan mayat reput pun lebih baik dari wajah si ketua jin
itu!!!

Tapi si ketua bomoh tetap kuatkan semangatnya yang jitu. Lalu si
ketua bomoh pun bertanya dengan kuat dan nyaring, menampakkan semangatnya
yang tidak kendur walaupun terlihat sesuatu yang begitu menakutkan itu.
"Mengapa kau rasuk pelajar sekolah di sini hah? Jawap!!!"
Kenapa gadis melayu jadi sasaran kau wahai syaitan yang direjam"

Dengan menarik nafas panjang, si ketua jin pun menjawab...

"Siapa Bilang Gadis Melayu Tak Menawan
Tak Menarik Hati, Tiada Memikat"
"Kalaulah Memang, Tak Mungkin Aku Tertarik
Kalaulah Sungguh, Tak Mungkin Aku MERASUK...""

"Aduhai... kekekeekeeee...""

Dah jangan dok mengulat dan mempercayai perkara tahyul.....pi buat
keja cepat..